Sunday, March 23, 2014

Wisdom from Anne of Green Gables.

Oh, Anne Shirley. You have always been my bosom friend. 

For a long time, I read all eight Anne books every summer. Then, for a while I read the book that pertained to my station in life (Anne of the Island in college, Anne of Windy Poplars while I was engaged, etc). 

Now I commute, and I listen to a lot of audiobooks. On Sundays, I like to tone things down a little bit, and so free recordings of Anne on LibriVox are my entertainment of choice. 

Today while driving home, she helped me to have an epiphany. 

The book Anne of Green Gables is essentially a tale of one mishap after another. Anne makes a cake and puts liniment in it (whatever that is), making it inedible. Anne falls off the roof and breaks her ankle because she didn't want to lose face in front of her rival. Anne serves a pudding that a rat drowned in to some guests. Anne dyes her hair green. She's constantly messing up. She's constantly imperfect.

But she still manages to be happy, to start her life over the next day without a doubt that things will get better. This is a lesson that I have been struggling to learn for most of my life. For me, when I make a mistake, it feels like it's over. I feel like I'm horrible, unlovable, irredeemable. Even though in my mind I know that Christ atoned for my sins and mistakes, sometimes my heart doesn't take it all in and I end up drowning in self-loathing over the mistakes I made. 

But Anne is a wonderful reminder that we don't have to drown in self-loathing. She makes some embarrassing and painful mistakes, yet she manages to be cheerful and loving, always getting on her feet again. She knows she can start again tomorrow. She states, "But have you ever noticed one encouraging thing about me, Marilla? I never make the same mistake twice." She learns from her mistakes, knowing she'll probably find new ones, but not afraid to forge onward.

So I'm going to try and take a leaf out of Anne's book. After all, tomorrow has no mistakes in it yet. And if I can bear up under those I make with a smile, maybe I'll get through to my next tomorrow. 

Friday, March 21, 2014

Seeking Joy.

Can I tell you a secret? I am not very good at being positive. It's probably not that much of a secret. I'm not sure if it is rooted in perfectionism or what, but I struggle hard with getting out of worry and stress.

And I would really, really like to change that.

A while ago I posted links to things that inspired me each month. I want to start again. I want to have a gathering place for the quotes, pictures, articles, and experiences that lit up my month.

I haven't gathered any yet -- the idea just occurred to me to do this. But I want to get it out there.

So be expecting it. :)

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Tomorrow is another day.

As far as perfected motherhood goes, today was a bust. Today there was too much checking of Facebook, too much talking on the phone, too many things on my to-do list.

Today, Cal didn't get a bath before bed, and we watched videos of cats doing stupid things on youtube during dinner because distraction was the only way I could get him to take a bite of his chicken noodle soup.

And unfortunately, I can't make it up to him tomorrow, because tomorrow I'll be at work, and Thursday I will too.

But I'm grateful that I have tomorrows with that little boy that I just tucked in with his new matchbox car squeezed tight in his little fist, even if that tomorrow isn't tomorrow.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll be a little more balanced, a little more focused, a little less distracted.

Because this little stinker deserves the best I've got.
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