Mama Monday: Sleep Training

I've kept a book blog for the last three years. I've always liked expressing my thoughts, whether through writing or talking, and I read so much that the blog was a perfect way to get all my book thoughts out there, communicate with nerds like me, and not drive the people nearest and dearest to me crazy.

Since I've had Cal, motherhood has similarly consumed my thoughts. While this blog isn't a "mommy blog" read by thousands who admire my perfectly decorated home,, size 4 Anthropologie wardrobe, and cherubically adorable child (just kidding about all of that, except the adorable child part), I feel like I need an outlet for some of those thoughts (and I have a lot of them). So I'm thinking on Mondays, I will post something about a motherhood-related topic that is on my mind.

In a similar and yet also tangential vein, I am also going to start doing a "Foodie Friday." I jokingly say that if I wasn't a nurse, I would have been a food critic. Probably not in reality, because I have an aversion to any career that doesn't ensure an income, but I love eating and I love discussing food. I don't want to maintain a whole new blog devoted to food -- my poor little book blog is neglected enough as it is. So it will be thrown into the hodgepodge of my personal blog.

And with that taken care of... on to my first topic. SLEEP TRAINING. I feel like this is one of the most divisive topics in parenting. The two extremes are co-sleeping and letting babies cry-it-out, but there is a whole gamut of opinions in between.

Let me fill you in on our situation. Cal has always been an excellent night sleeper -- he usually sleeps ten-twelve solid hours at night, and before that he was usually only getting up once. However, naps are a different story. Ever since he got out of the hospital, he hasn't been able to stay asleep for more than forty minutes at a time. My solution to that problem has been to rock him to sleep and then hold him until he wakes up, at which point I can immediately rock him again and then put him down in his crib once he is asleep. Usually I can get another half hour out of him that way, and have a little time to get things done.

Cal is kind of a wild sleeper. 

However, I came to realize that this needed to change. First of all, Cal wasn't staying asleep in my arms anymore. Now that he isn't swaddled, he would get too distracted and start playing with my hair or my shirt or his pacifier. Also, I was just starting to get frustrated with my confined time. I really am grateful for all the time that I was able to hold Cal during his early infancy (and all the reading I was able to get done), but I felt that he was getting older and more mature and needed to become more independent in his sleeping habits.

So, on Friday we began sleep-training. I knew I didn't want to co-sleep, obviously -- that wouldn't help with naps and the rocking was close enough (especially since I usually ended up passing out... thank goodness we have a comfortable recliner). I also knew I didn't want to let Cal cry it out. It just felt instinctually wrong to me to leave my baby screaming, at least until I had exhausted every other option. (I'm not saying that those of you who did let your children cry it out are bad parents. I think it works very well for some families. However, I didn't feel that it was right for ours). After talking to a friend who had successfully sleep-trained her son who had similar sleeping patterns to Cal, I decided to adopt the Baby Whisperer's "Pick-up/Put-down" philosophy.

The general idea is that you help the baby wind down with a naptime ritual, then lay them in the crib. If they cry, pick them up until they stop and then put them back down. Keep your hand on their back (except Cal sleeps on his back, as all babies should now that we know it reduces SIDS... so I put mine on his chest) until he falls asleep.

I modified this somewhat. Our naptime ritual is that I change him, zip him into his sleep suit, rock him and sing a song, say my little "I love you" rhyme, and then hold him for a few minutes until he seems completely calm. Then I say, "Time to go to sleep. I love you!" and lower him into the crib. Then I sit where he can't see me. Sometimes he has gone right to sleep. Other times, he wants to play and just messes around for about twenty minutes, after which we go through the pick-up/put-down thing.

For the most part, it has been going well. He usually goes down fairly well, and when he doesn't, I keep reminding myself that he eventually will -- he has every time but once. For the first couple of days he still didn't make it past the forty minute mark, at which point I would pickup/putdown until he was due to eat or fell asleep (um, he never fell back asleep). However, today he has made it through to at least an hour and twenty minutes for his first two naps. We're at the thirty minute mark of his third nap, but according to the Baby Whisperer (I've said that phrase so many times this weekend my husband mocks me for it), its okay if the last nap is a catnap.

I've read or at least leafed through several books on this topic, including:

• The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems by Tracy Hogg
• Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by ... someone I'm too lazy to look up right now
• Baby Wise

I also have found the book The Wonder Weeks to be very informative on times when a baby will probably have more trouble sleeping than normal.

Did you sleep train your kids? What did you find to work? 

The next 25.

I've had an incredible birthday, and have been very spoiled -- lots of cute new clothes, the Pitch Perfect DVD (aca-awesome), some gift cards, and best of all, a beautiful video slideshow that my husband put together (we'll see if I can figure out how to post that here one of these days). I also had the opportunity to attend the LA Times Book Festival yesterday, which was fantastic. Thank you to everyone who helped make it a lovely day.

I've been thinking that 25 is a significant number -- a quarter of a century old. It led me to reflect on what I've accomplished in the last 25 years (some serious, some silly), and what I'm hoping to accomplish in the next 25.

25 of the BEST things that have happened in the last 25 years:

1. I was born. Sa-weet.

2. I married my true love for eternity in the Boise, Idaho temple.

3. I gave birth to my darling, AWESOME son, Caleb Allen Lemmons.

4. I was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

5. I graduated from college... twice. 

6. I lived in France for a summer.

7. I had my heart broken many times, but pushed through it and found true love. :)

8. I put together a lengthy program for my senior piano and voice recital. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, and it was amazing.

9. I learned to ballroom dance and even placed in a competition

10. I discovered that the Lord wanted me to be a nurse, even though it wasn't my original plan (and I'm so grateful for it now!)

11. I learned to read. (If you know me, you know this is a huge part of my life!)

12. My two siblings, Jenna and Jace, were born.

13. I started my book blog.

14. I've met many wonderful friends.

15. I received a magical first kiss under mistletoe

16. I wrote a song (and made 50 dollars from it... starving artist)

17. Hearing Cal laugh for the first time

18. I came home to find my mom had bought a piano. :)

19. I won the parent lottery. 

20. I had my life changed by some beautiful, strong children: the autistic boy I tutored for 2 years, the kids at Camp Kesem, and the cancer warriors on Primary Children's ICS.

21. I gained a testimony of Jesus Christ and the Restored Gospel.

22. I faced some of the toughest trials of my life, including having my husband leave for boot camp, dealing with a scary birth, and watching my son suffer in the hospital -- and grew and became stronger.

23. I got an American Girl doll (that was a big moment in my 5-year-old life).

24. My 11th grade English teacher, Mr. Dempsey, told my mom he remembered I was a good writer six years later. (Sounds lame, but it was seriously one of my life's favorite compliments)

25. I traveled to some fun places: Boston, Hawaii, Mexico, Belgium, San Francisco, DISNEYLAND.

25 goals for the next 25 years:

1. Have the rest of my darling babies.

2. See Cal serve a full-time mission.

3. Be a temple worker

4. Go to the temple in another country

5. Finish writing my novel

6. Run a half-marathon

7. Get a master's of nursing education

8. Become a certified oncology nurse

9. Become an IBCLC lactation consultant

10. Return to my pre-pregnancy weight (sooner rather than later, please?)

11. Memorize all the Scripture Mastery scriptures

12. Live somewhere I've never lived before

13. Join a really good choir

14. Learn Italian

15. Go to General Conference in Salt Lake City with my family

16. Have our own house

17. Work as a nurse

18. Read the complete works of Shakespeare

19. Plant a garden

20. Go to Italy

21. Return to France

22. Ballroom dance again

23. Complete baby books for all my children and my wedding scrapbook

24. Bring someone into the Gospel

25. Be happy. 

Cal's Birth Story

Almost eight weeks later, after a day of no napping, six loads of laundry, and Scott finally taking over and getting the kiddo in bed, I am going to attempt to blog about Cal's birth.

I had spent my pregnancy assuming I would go into labor early. My mom never made it to her due date, and my baby was so big that I thought maybe the due date was slightly off. My friend Mykel called me on November 16 and distracted me with a trip to Ikea, which is just as well, because I was beginning to get decidedly whiny about the prospect of a few more days pregnant. Fortunately, I had an induction scheduled for Monday, November 19th, and my mom was flying in on Sunday night.

Monday morning came with no contractions, so I called the hospital and they let me come in right on time, at 10:30 am. The morning was spent with being checked in and a resident trying to get an accurate ultrasound estimate of Cal's size. He was so active that it was very difficult to get a good reading and they spent over an hour trying to figure it out. The hospital's reading was slightly lower than my OB-GYN's reading of 9-10 lbs, so I was hopeful that maybe he wouldn't be quite as big, although it also made me doubt my decision to have an induction. I also had my first IV inserted. No one had been able to get one in my veins in nursing school, and it proved to be pretty difficult for this nurse, too. (It hurt the whole time and eventually infiltrated). Oh well.

At 3 pm I had my first dose of misoprostol, and I was excited when a few hours later I began having contractions about 15 minutes apart. Scott and my mom were hanging out with me in the tiny room and we ate a bunch of Diddy Riese cookies and tried to stay entertained. I had brought a bunch of books, and my mom had as well, but I couldn't focus on reading. All I could think about was the fact that my baby was coming, although it seemed surreal -- part of my mind felt like it would never really happen.

At 7 pm, I received a second dose of misoprostol. We had dinner, and then Scott decided to go home, because it was looking like I was going to take quite a while before I went into active labor. After Scott left, my mom and I took a walk around the floor. I think we walked around it about 10 times, and I was feeling very disappointed because in the course of that 30 minute walk I had only had one contraction. I wondered if things would ever really get started or if I would get sent home, like one of my friends had earlier that week when she had been induced. However, once I got back in bed, about half an hour before I was due for another dose of misoprostol, I started having contractions hard and fast -- every 3 minutes. They were getting painful very quickly. At this point it was about midnight, and the nurses told me they were getting a labor room ready. I felt guilty for waking Scott up when he had only just left, but my contractions were getting painful and I wanted to wait until I was dilated to a 4 or 5 before I had an epidural and I really wanted him there. He was a good sport and got right out of bed and came.

For the next few hours I waited out the contractions. At first the doctors told me I was going to have pitocin, and I asked if it could wait -- I was in active labor, after all, and didn't see the point of making it harder. Scott helped me through contractions and I spent some time in the shower, which was also nice. After I got out of the shower, I decided I was ready for the epidural. They came in and I was worried that I had waited too long because my contractions were becoming very painful and I didn't know if I could hold still for the needle. Scott held my hands and I tried to take deep breaths as they inserted it. I felt relief a few minutes later, and it was amazing. The doctors came in and checked my cervix, and I was at a 5 -- I had reached my goal! I then fell asleep for several hours (the last sleep I would get for a couple of days).

As the next morning, Tuesday, November 20th, progressed, I began to feel my contractions again. I had a button on the epidural that I could push for more medication, but I wanted to be able to feel the urge to push, so I didn't press the button. My doctor, Dr. Jensen, was in the hospital that day, and it felt much more comfortable having her be the one to check on me and talk with me. At 2:15, they told me I could start pushing. Suddenly I was very, very afraid -- labor had seemed to go on forever, and suddenly it was happening. I was possibly going to have this baby very soon, and it was possibly going to really hurt. Scott gave me a blessing before they came in to have me push, which helped me feel a little less afraid.

I started pushing with the nurse. I could definitely feel the contractions at this point and was pushing as hard as I could. My mom was holding my head, Scott was holding one of my legs, and a medical student who had also been with me the day before was holding the other leg (she was a lifesaver that day. Later I found out she was a doula). After a few minutes of pushing, a swarm of people rushed into the room and epinephrine was pushed into my IV. I had no idea what was going on and started to panic. It turned out that Cal's heart rate had dipped very, very low when I started pushing. Fortunately, the epinephrine had brought it back to a normal rate, but I was starting to feel panicked. The fact that so many people had rushed into the room showed me that it was a serious situation. Dr. Jensen came in and told me they were going to have me rest for an hour and then try pushing again. If Cal's heart rate dropped again, I would need to have a C-section. I became very emotional at this point because I was terrified that something was going to happen to the baby. I didn't want to push again because I was afraid it was something I was doing wrong that had caused Cal's heart rate to drop.

Fortunately, when I started pushing again about an hour and a half later, Cal's heart rate stayed pretty stable, although I had to wear an oxygen mask. For the first hour, my mom and Scott were telling me that Cal was progressing down. They could see Cal's head and his hair. However, as I continued pushing as hard as I could, I could tell that I wasn't making any headway by the expression on Scott's face. I was trying as hard as I could and could feel quite a bit of pain with my contractions, because I still hadn't pushed the button and they had turned down the medication, but I wasn't making any progress. This went on for about two and a half more hours. Dr. Jensen came in and told me that she was off and being relieved by another doctor in the practice. She told me that usually after this length of time I would have to have a C-section, but that I was so close I could probably push for another half hour. At this point I was exhausted and not sure what to do. I didn't want to push anymore OR have a C-section. However, everyone kept telling me I was almost there, so I decided I would keep pushing.

A few minutes later, the doctor came in and told me I needed to have a C-section, that I was not going to be able to deliver Cal vaginally. I was so overwrought I burst into tears. They told me they were going to perform another C-section and that I would be next. They turned up my epidural and told me to rest. A few minutes later, another doctor came in and told me that she would coach me through pushing if I wanted. A few minutes previously, I would have probably been overjoyed, but I had just resigned myself to the C-section, and now the thought of pushing seemed impossible. I thought about it for a few minutes and decided that the C-section was the right thing to do, although I was a little conflicted still.

A few minutes later, an anesthesiologist came in and told me something about needing to turn down the epidural because they would be using a different medication for the surgery. I was pretty muddled and tired and honestly have no idea what the rationale was. I was pretty comfortable for about an hour because they gave me a bolus of medication before turning it down, but then I began feeling my contractions very intensely. At this point they were one on top of the other and they were excruciating. Scott called the front to see how long it would be, and they said about 20 minutes. It was a very long 20 minutes, and I was a little embarrassed because towards the end I was screaming because I was in so much pain. I could have kissed the anesthesiologist when she came in. They had Scott suit up in scrubs and then I was wheeled to the OR. 

The first thing I did upon reaching the OR was throw up all the potassium citrate the nurse had had me swallow. Not a pleasant experience when you are strapped to the table. The doctors began the surgery. I remember Scott trying to look over the drape and the nurses stopping him, even though he promised he wouldn't faint. I felt quite a bit of tugging, and at one point the a doctor said, "Look, he's trying to crawl out!" I would have loved to see a picture of that! I kept straining my ears to hear Cal cry for the first time. When he finally did, I remember thinking that he had the cutest baby cry. I still think he is pretty cute when he cries, although I don't ever want to prolong the experience. Scott jumped up and ran over to the warmer. Cal passed meconium all over me as they pulled him out and then peed on the pediatricians at the warmer. He had quite a bit of gunk in his lungs, and the pediatricians were pounding on his back and suctioning him. I felt left out and wished that I could see him. Scott ran back to me with a picture he had taken with his iPhone. When I saw him I couldn't believe that he was my baby and that he was here. I kept asking how much he weighed, because he was allegedly so huge, but the pediatricians were still working on clearing his lungs. A few minutes later they shouted it out -- 9 lbs. 9 oz and 22 inches long -- in the 95th percentile for weight and the 97th for height. I heard the doctors saying, "He was never going to come out vaginally." It made me feel a little better for deciding to have a C-section.

A few minutes later I started having quite a bit of pain and started to panic, so the doctors had me sedated for about 20 minutes. I woke up and they began wheeling me to the recovery room. Then, finally, I had the chance to see Cal and hold him. I remember feeling so antsy for him to be with me. Even though he was a really big baby, he seemed so tiny to me. He was so cute and I thought that he didn't look like a wrinkly newborn at all. I sang to him when he started to cry a little bit and he calmed right down. While my labor and C-section had been kind of traumatic, that moment meeting my baby made it all worth it. I can't believe he is 2 months old already. 

waiting.

I've always been bad at waiting, and I appear to be regressing.

As Scott and I say, sometimes it's hard to be a person. Although I should probably try a little harder to be one right now, since I've basically spent the day messing around on the internet and reading horror stories about inductions, C-sections, and macrosomic babies. Not the best waiting material for this mother of a macrosomic baby.

I don't even feel like reading my book, which clearly shows something is wrong. :-P

Trials, blessings, and random pictures

It's been an interesting couple of weeks for us, with some difficult things happening but also some amazing things happening. So to break it down for you:

Trials
:: Scott is in the middle of his first batch of midterms. He has been feeling stressed about them, but so far has done well. His hardest one, anatomy, is on Tuesday.
:: My great-grandma Lucille passed away about two weeks ago. She was almost 91 and lived an amazing life of influencing and blessing so many people. She has been without my Grandpa Ross for almost twenty years and one of the last things I ever heard her say was that she really missed him, so I am so glad that they are finally getting to spend time together again. My mom also said that if Cal is born late, it is because my grandma isn't done playing with him. Grandma Lucille was known for loving babies and always wanting to hold babies, so I'm sure she is excited to be one of the first to get to play with her great-great-grandson.

5 generation photo when I was a baby -- Grandma Lucille is standing in the back on the right. 

:: At my doctor's appointment on Monday, I found out that my son has some blockage in his kidney and has two ureters on that side instead of the usual one. Apparently this is a very common birth defect and sometimes goes away on its own. If it doesn't, it is usually corrected by surgery when the baby is about one year old. I had a hard time with this this week, I think mainly because I don't know exactly what to expect or what will happen. It seems like this isn't a life-threatening problem, so I am grateful that if he has to have a problem, it is this one that is usually not a big deal. However, I am kind of stressed about how things will turn out, so if you want to keep Baby Cal in your prayers I'm sure it will help. :)

Blessings

:: I am officially an RN! It feels great to be able to say "I'm a nurse." Now I just need a job.

:: The Giants are winning the World Series! They need to win one more game to win the series. Right now they are behind one run, so it might be a couple of games before they win, but we are feeling pretty hopeful and confident that it will go well. The Giants won the World Series for the first time in many years the year we got married, so it seems fitting that they are probably going to win the year our first baby is born.

:: We are still loving LA and the friends we are making here!

Pictures

:: Last weekend, Scott took me on a romantic date to see the sunset on the ocean and eat at a delicious Italian restaurant called Pomodoro (highly recommended, but make sure you make a reservation, because it is a very small restaurant). 

Beautiful sunset

Handsome bearded boy. :) 

:: This weekend we went to a Harry Potter party as Tonks and Lupin (Tonks was the only Harry Potter character I could think of that was pregnant in any of the books)

:: According to ultrasound, this baby is going to weigh over nine pounds. It's looking like that is a correct assessment. We're full term now so he could come at any time!

Giants! and other news.

I don't have any pictures for you this week, but here's what we've been up to...

:: I took the NCLEX on Tuesday. I won't find out if I passed for several weeks, but I think I did well. It is great to be done. I celebrated by going out to Indian food with my grandma and picking out a cute outfit for the baby to come home from the hospital in.
:: Scott made an almost perfect veneer in his waxing class on Wednesday. It is really fun to see him already developing new skills that he will be using in his work as a dentist.
:: Pregnancy hit me full-body with a 2X4 this week. I've been feeling pretty great although having some symptoms off and on, but this week I have basically been as sore and uncomfortable as can be. The good news is this kid will hopefully be here sometime in the next 33 days. :)
:: Scott got to play tennis with some dental school/church friends.
:: The Giants beat the Reds after a stunning 3 game streak that almost sent me into early labor. They are playing the Cardinals in the next round of the playoffs as we speak, and I am excited to see how everything turns out. I really want them to go to the World Series so I can have a party. :)
:: We *almost* saw the space shuttle. Unfortunately it was running 3 hours late and we took public transportation and became stranded in downtown LA. Fortunately we were with friends who helped us make the most of the situation and had other friends who saved us by picking us up.
:: I went with my grandparents to the textile district in LA and got to see my grandma's insane skills at picking out cute fabrics. We have some owl patterns picked out to make some things for the baby. We also went to Phillippe's, which is one of my favorite places to eat in LA.
:: Scott's sisters and some of our nieces and nephews came to town to go to the American Girl store at the Grove. I have always wanted to go there and never had the chance, so it was really exciting for me as well as the little girls. Camille got a new doll (Caroline) and the other girls picked out some cute outfits. We also ate a "fancy" 4-course meal in the cafe, complete with chairs and dishes for the dolls as well. The dolls got their ears pierced and their hair styled, too. It was a delayed dream come true for me. :) I hope one day I have a little girl that I can take there, because I don't think Cal is going to quite appreciate the store. :)

So, all in all, a pretty good week. This week we are looking forward to buying some things for the baby, going out to eat, studying hard (for Scott), reading a lot (for me), and watching the Giants win the next round of playoffs!!

The apartment.

We are loving living in our new apartment in Los Angeles. It is a serious upgrade from our little apartment in Wymount (and we are paying for it...) with two bedrooms, a dishwasher, and air conditioning (my personal favorite in my huge, pregnant state). It is in a nice neighborhood and within walking distance of several grocery stores (and a Rite Aid... for Thrifty's... and a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf... and the library... basically all we need!). We have really been enjoying getting to know this area and making friends with the people that live in University Village.

Our bedroom, dominated by my huge body pillow.

And the dresser. 

And the wall of Paris pictures. :) 

The baby's room... not quite finished, but getting there! We both love going inside and just looking at it. 

Wall decals. Scott loved putting these up. :) 

Baby's bookshelf... the lighting is horrible, but I was too lazy t o wait and redo it. 

Our front room. It's nice to finally have a big couch. :) 

TV land plus my To-Be-Read bookshelf.

THE LIBRARY! I love that we have on in our little house, even though right now it is tiny.

Dining area... again, horrible lighting but I am too lazy to do anything about it. We love our bay window.

Kitchen... much bigger than our last place and with a dishwasher, HOORAY!

This ugly blank wall (with some boxes of things to donate... awkward...) is going to be a huge collage of picture frames and photos once I actually get around to putting it together.