I have three weeks of work under my belt now... and my first consecutive days off since I started. Four, to be exact. Hooray! It's a good thing, too, because Scott has been home with our boog for these last three weeks, but he is about to go back to school. Adjustment time is only beginning.
Working 50 hours this week has left me pretty brain-dead and incapable of forming good paragraphs, but I can make bullet-points. So here's being a working mom in a nutshell, so far:
The Good:
* The paycheck. I know it's mercenary, but it is really gratifying to look at the clock and realize that my actions are filling my bank account. It won't always be my job to provide for my family, but it is nice to be able to participate now.
* Scott completely understands all the things that were frustrating to me as a stay-at-home mom. I think he'll be a lot more understanding in the future when I return to that role... and I'll be a lot more understanding of him as he gets home from work and doesn't want to do anything for a few minutes.
* I really, really love nursing. I am passionate about what I am doing, which helps.
* I love the kids I work with. I love making them laugh and trying to brighten up their days, because let's face it -- they spend a lot of time choking down medications that make them throw up and dealing with me messing with a tube that goes through their chest all the way to their heart. They have tough lives, and if I can make them happy for a few minutes, I can feel good about that day.
The Rough:
* I miss Cal so much. Fortunately things will get better once the residency is over, but right now it is hard to only have an hour some days, a few days off scattered about, and then days when I don't see him at all.
* It is stressful -- in general, adjusting to a new life, and also, being in a situation where my mistakes could seriously endanger someone's life. Not to mention the fact that seeing kids suffer is pretty difficult as well.
* I thought my time was limited as a stay at home mom -- I never felt like I had time to exercise, clean, cook, take care of Cal, be a good wife, and do some things for myself. Now I am trying to do all of that and work and commute, and there's always something that has to give way (usually cleaning).
* I feel out of place everywhere -- at work, no one else has kids. At church, no one else works. It isn't always comfortable being in an in-between place.
However, with both the good and the bad, I'm so grateful to have this job. I'll keep posting on this topic every so often. Hope everyone is having a good weekend, and GO COUGARS!
Saturday, September 21, 2013
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