Wednesday, January 12, 2011

working fears

It appears that the computer I'm using doesn't have a very good shift button, so please forgive me if I wantonly leave things uncapitalized. I know I've been a slacker on this blog lately - I really will catch up, and I have some awesome pictures to post from Scott and my adventure across the Golden Gate Bridge (mark that one off the bucket list!) But tonight, I am feeling a little introspective and wanted to share a talk that I just found.

I just started working at a new job in a home for developmentally disabled people. The job is interesting, looks great on my nursing resume, and what's more, it's a job. I watched my highly qualified roommate search for four months before she was able to find a job, so I feel very grateful to have a job that is close, gives me plenty of work hours, and is in a field in which I hope to work in the future.

However, starting this job has also caused me a lot of stress. Some of the residents can be aggressive and difficult to control, and my job places a lot of responsibility on my head for the safety and dignity of these people. So far, I haven't even worked on my own - I've only been in training shifts - and I felt overwhelmed at the need to be many places at once. Friday is my first day going it alone, followed by a Saturday morning shift about 8 hours later, a Sunday evening shift, and then a Monday shift. Everything will be thrown at me all at once. I've been feeling really stressed and apprehensive about this today after an 8 hour orientation to the job.

So, I looked up some talks about fear, and the one that really struck me was this one. It is a reminder that circumstances may seem uncertain, but to remember to count my blessings and that nothing unpleasant in this life is permanent. This job may be a bit more than I was expecting, but hopefully (if I can ever finish this nursing essay before Saturday) I will be in training to be a nurse in a few months and I will already have experienced the hardest parts of that kind of job. I can do this, even if it isn't easy!

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