Hungry for more.

Lately, I am feeling starved for time. (Thus, I shouldn't be on the internet, the most notorious Thief of Time).

There is so much I want to do.

I want to exercise, get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, run a half-marathon.

I want to read all the books in the world (and I have 8 from the library with a ticking clock due date).

I want to be a better nurse and get certifications and volunteer on committees.

I want to serve others.

I want to read the scriptures more, and read books about the scriptures, and church doctrine.

I want a clean house.

I want to explore LA and enjoy all the fun things it has to offer.

I want to sit down and talk with my husband, get on the floor and play with my baby.

(I want another baby).

I want to write all the blog posts and stories and novels swirling around in my brain.

I think Cal is just like me. I see him sometimes sitting in a pile of toys, and he wants to take his favorites with him. He puts one in each hand, and then he tries to grab another, and another. He only has two hands and despite the fact that they are bigger than most 18-month old hands, he can only cram so many matchbox cars into them. Inevitably, he drops something. On a good day, he can let it go. On a bad day, he lets out a wail or a frustrated groan and throws everything to the ground, trying to pick it all up again. He doesn't want to have to choose. He wants it all.

So do I. It's probably a good time for me to read Good, Better, Best. Maybe after I reread all the conference talks. And all the archived talks from BYU Women's Conferences. And the books Scott got me for my birthday about the Atonement and women and the priesthood (seriously can't wait for that one).

See what I mean?

How do you slow down and focus on the one or two or five most needful things?

A Jonah Day

"The trouble is, I've got things the matter with my conscience," sobbed Anne. "Oh, this has been such a Jonah day, Marilla. I'm so ashamed of myself. I lost my temper... I feel that I have humiliated myself to the very dust. You don't know how cross and hateful and horrid I was..."

Today started out as a "Jonah day." I'm not sure where Anne of Green Gables got that term, but it is perfectly fitting for the way my morning began. I woke up six hours after falling asleep because our upstairs neighbors decided to assemble furniture at midnight. Cal wouldn't let me do the food prep that I needed to do for our Easter dinner, I am awaiting an insanely stressful week at work (60 hours!), and it looks like the only time I am going to have to do laundry is on Monday, which, incidentally, is my birthday. For some reason, having to do my laundry on my birthday seems like a miserable indignity. Which just goes to show how easy my life really is, when my biggest problem is having to do laundry on my birthday.

I snapped at Scott, I yelled at Cal to "leave me alone for five minutes!" (which fortunately made him laugh instead of cry, which made me cry) (which made him laugh harder...) and finally I decided I needed to get out. I had to sack my first plan of walking along the beach because I wouldn't have time to make it back for a baptism we were going to, so I did the next best thing -- hiked to the very top of a high hill where I could see the ocean from a distance. I walked for over an hour, listening to bands from high school like Dashboard Confessional and the Wreckers, nodding my head to lyrics like, "You can't fake it hard enough to please/everyone, or anyone at all."

And by the end of the walk, I could see a little perspective. Which is not to say I've been angel for the rest of the day -- I still have the grumblings of not-enough-sleep-hello-I'm-stressed raging around in my brain. But I feel restored enough to get through the rest of this "Jonah day." Cal even has done me the courtesy of taking an extra-long nap, allowing me to put together his Easter basket, hide the eggs, finish the dinner prep, finish an episode of Call the Midwife, read a book, and re-catalogue my Goodreads shelves (it's amazing what one can do with an extra hour of free time).

Hopefully by tomorrow I will fully recover from my evil mood, but I am grateful that this little bout of rejuvenation helped. What do you find restoring on those days where it seems like everything is going wrong?

Inspiration for March 2014

A few days late... but here are a few sites I found inspiring this month.

:: This talk, which the author kindly reproduced on her blog, is about how womanhood on earth lifts us to be goddesses in heaven. Not in so many words, but that is the feel I got from it. Read it.

:: A glimpse into the life of a put-together mommy blogger. Just goes to show we all have weaknesses but can also have the power to overcome them and be awesome. :)

:: An article on how the gospel of Jesus Christ aligns with research on happiness.

Have a happy April. :)